Questionable Philosophy (a poem)

Sometimes I wish I was brave enough
to love only the ones who deserve it.
But mostly I am grateful
other people aren’t that brave either:
I so often don’t deserve it.
Some days I fear
I will never fully recover
from all the love I have given away.
Some days I suspect that
life isn’t something
we’re meant to recover from.
After all, eventually it kills you.
I want to learn how to live
in the pain of always
lacking a little bit more
of myself.
And how to soak in the grace
of all the pieces of others
that flood in to fill the space
left behind.
When it comes to love and life
I don’t know about deserving it
But I don’t want to reach my end
without at least trying to earn it.
When I drink my morning coffee,
too often, I let it get cold
trying to hold on to each little drop.
And I don’t want to live like that.
I don’t want to turn cold.
I want to run hot.
I want to be only brave enough
to give myself away,
to make every mistake.
I want to drink to the dregs.
I want to wear myself
completely out.

One thought on “Questionable Philosophy (a poem)

  1. Pingback: All The Poems I Wrote in Lent | Reverend Fem

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