Sometimes I wish I was brave enough
to love only the ones who deserve it.
But mostly I am grateful
other people aren’t that brave either:
I so often don’t deserve it.
Some days I fear
I will never fully recover
from all the love I have given away.
Some days I suspect that
life isn’t something
we’re meant to recover from.
After all, eventually it kills you.
I want to learn how to live
in the pain of always
lacking a little bit more
And how to soak in the grace
of all the pieces of others
that flood in to fill the space
When it comes to love and life
I don’t know about deserving it
But I don’t want to reach my end
without at least trying to earn it.
When I drink my morning coffee,
too often, I let it get cold
trying to hold on to each little drop.
And I don’t want to live like that.
I don’t want to turn cold.
I want to run hot.
I want to be only brave enough
to give myself away,
to make every mistake.
I want to drink to the dregs.
I want to wear myself